‘Not worth living’: Jamarra speaks on on moment ‘I hit rock bottom’ in harrowing details

Is a return for Jamarra on the cards? | 02:45

Jamarra Ugle-Hagan has opened up on the depth of his mental health battles and hitting rock bottom after stepping away from AFL this year.

Ugle-Hagan returned to Whitten Oval this week following a lengthy absence due to personal struggles as he begins to reintegrate in the Dogs’ AFL program.

The former No. 1 draft pick, who spent time at a mental health retreat during his period of leave, has been training on and off with the Dogs this season, having not played a game yet in 2025.

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Speaking on record publicly for the first time via the Rip Through It podcast, Ugle-Hagan admitted there were times he considered taking his own life.

“All the noises actually sent me to a rehab facility for my mental health,” Ugle-Hagan told former AFL players Mitch Robinson and Rhys Mathieson on their podcast.

“It got to a point where I had to give my car to a mate so I couldn’t drive, I just didn’t trust myself driving.

“There were times when I would think about – to be honest with you – just not even worth even living.

“I went through a struggle where I didn’t want to leave the house. I hit rock bottom and found basement.

“Definitely (there were suicidal thoughts). Suicidal thoughts would come pretty frequently.”

Jamara Ugle-Hagan is seen training at the Western Bulldogs Football Club Oval. Picture: NewsWire / Diego Fedele Source: News Corp Australia

Ugle-Hagan added that he “felt like I was on my own the whole time”.

“When you are down you want to keep finding an upper. My upper was probably staying and hanging out with my mates and getting on the piss and training with them as well,” he continued.

“But it just had no end goal, I didn’t have a game. I didn’t have anything.

“My mental health wasn’t in the right space, so I was struggling, and I found it really tough to even enjoy football.

“I lost the fun in it. I didn’t want to play, it wasn’t even a priority because all I wanted to do was find something.

“But I didn’t know what that was until I have had this break.”

Ugle-Hagan has been questioned throughout 2025 including drawing scrutiny for not attending the Dogs’ centenary match earlier this season and being seen in social media videos out drinking with friends.

But the forward said he’s determined to return to the field and pull on the Dogs jumper again.

'The human side should be contemplated' | 03:53

“I want to play footy. I can’t wait to play footy. I want to kick a f***ing goal in front of those crowds,” he said.

“I have been watching every single Bulldogs game. I have been supporting them, been watching them.

“I will go to games at the end of the year. I genuinely want to play one more (game), I want to play some games.

“It’s going to be grouse.”

Ugle-Hagan, who’s been the subject of trade talk and faces an uncertain future at the Kennel, said he ‘loves’ Ameet Bains and described the Dogs CEO as “my brother” and “one of my good mates.”

The 23-year old said he’s still “good mates” with all the Dogs players, despite feeling “anxiety” going into the club when he was in a bad place.

“Unfortunately, it was out of my control because my mental health was not in the right spot,” he said.

“I thought I was actually going really well, I’m training well.

“Then I was just getting to the end of the week and I felt like I didn’t have the reward.

“It was like ‘When am I playing next? When am I going to play?’”

And Ugle-Hagan, who’s contracted at the Dogs for 2026, wants to remain at the club going forward.

“I’m obviously still contracted with the ‘Doggies’ and I still want to play for them, and I want to win a flag,” he said.

“It’s the Bulldogs until my contract runs out and then hopefully, they offer me another one, but we will see how we go.

“They have given me opportunities since day dot, so why can’t I get back?”

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