TV View: David Clifford sizzles as debate gets heated on RTÉ

“You could fry an egg on my match programme,” said the BBC’s Mark Sidebottom when he stood on the sideline at Croke Park ahead of Saturday’s Kerry v Tyrone semi-final. And for those who spent the weekend with their heads in the freezer, this added to the mystery of how any of these fellas could even perform, never mind excel.

No one, need it be said, excelled more than a certain Kerry lad. “I’m convinced if you dipped David Clifford in concrete, put it up to his waist, let it harden and wrapped him in chains, he’d still be unmarkable,” as Mark put it after presenting the boy wonder with his man of the match award.

There had, though, been a debate almost as heated as the temperatures over on RTÉ about their choice of the game’s outstanding player, Seán Cavanagh flummoxed by his fellow pundits picking Joe O’Connor over Clifford. But Tomás Ó Sé had a fair point when he suggested that there was no space left on Clifford’s mantelpiece for such gongs.

He might, of course, have to find some room for another All Ireland medal after Kerry, as Tomás described it, mixed “fire with silk” to see off Tyrone, Donegal their opponents in the final after they annihilated Meath. That Michael Murphy was withdrawn not a whole lot longer after the second half started was, Darragh Maloney noted, a sure sign that Jimmy was about to win yet another match.

But no sporting annihilation at the weekend compared to the one poor old Amanda Anisimova suffered at the hands of Iga Świątek in the Wimbledon final. “This will take longer than the match,” said John McEnroe as he watched the Pole celebrate with each member of her team.

“Parents, coach, psychologist, physio, agent,” said Sam Smith, her voice trailing off as she lost count of her crew. “God be with the days when it was just the Ma and Da and coach in the box,” she’d have been thinking to herself.

“This could be over very quickly,” Clare Balding had suggested prematch, based on Swiatek’s semi-final performance against Belinda Bencic, on a surface that she was once so uncomfortable on, she echoed the feelings of former world number one Manuel Santana: “Grass is for cows.”

Amanda Anisimova during a press conference following her Ladies' Singles Final defeat to Iga Swiatek. Photograph: Benjamin Gilbert/AELTC/PA

“Totally different matchup, completely different, that ain’t gonna happen,” vowed Mac. A set in to the game? “This is a total disaster for Anisimova.”

It was too, and by the time she’d lost 0-6, 0-6, the first such result in the final since – God – 1911, you wanted someone to give her a sizeable hug. So it was nice to see Wimbledon referee Denise Parnell approach her as she sat weeping in her chair. Except she was telling her how to address the Princess of Wales when she arrived to give her the loser’s dish.

“Ma’am.” “Mom?” “Ma’am.” “Mam?” “Ma’am.” Never change Wimbledon, never change.

Clare, though, was touched by the “very sweet” way in which Ma’am Kate dealt with Anisimova when they had a natter, telling her “you should be so proud” after, as Clare put it, she had been “at the wrong end a love and love hiding”. That was cold, if true.

Once or twice, Anisimova threatened to win a game, which called to mind Andre Agassi’s observation during the Carlos Alcaraz v Taylor Fritz semi-final when the American was attempting to keep up with the Spaniard’s sheer brilliance. “Hope is fragile, but is hard to kill,” he said.

“Is there a way of asking your viewers if I’m talking too much,” he asked. He was, to be honest, barely letting Andrew Castle have a word, which, not to be rude, was no bad thing.

Andrew’s chief focus was on picking out celebs in the royal box, which irked Andre no end. Did he recognise Sachin Tendulkar? Did he heck. Any sport that can end in a draw, he said, is not a sport. That was cricket told. If Andrew had informed Andre that a ladybird swarm had interrupted England’s test against India at Lords on Thursday, he’d have died from the laughing.

Come Sunday, the men’s final promised loads, but delivered little, a bit like Donegal v Meath. It was a case of the Sinner, with his two anabolic steroid positive tests, sweeping aside, well, the Spanish Saint. With that level of stamina-enhancing boost, you’d struggle to beat him even if he was dipped him in concrete and wrapped in chains. Tennis? Funny old game.

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