Liverpool forced to cut title celebrations short after worrying Roy Keane 'warning'

It turns out Liverpool would be ashamed if they suddenly start being rubbish and Arsenal simultaneously pull themselves together to overhaul an 11-point gap.

Beautiful disaster

‘SURELY they are not going to blow it. Or could Liverpool really mess this up?

‘After this draw at Villa Park, and it was actually a real cracker, there will be a few worried Liverpool fans out there, fearing their team are about to deliver one almighty title choke.

‘Whether Liverpool experience a bit of a blip or a full-scale disaster remains to be seen’ – Charlie Wyett, The Sun, February 20.

‘JURGEN KLOPP described his never-say-die Liverpool team as mentality monsters.

‘So what are Arsenal under Mikel Arteta?

‘On the back of this latest title collapse, they are English football’s mentality muppets.

‘Saturday’s abject display at the Emirates was surely confirmation the club’s wait for a title, which now stands at 21 years, will continue’ – Charlie Wyett, The Sun, February 24.

Mad that it ‘remained to be seen’ for all of four days whether Liverpool were going to collapse or not because *checks notes* drawing away at Everton and Aston Villa meant they only had an eight-point lead over Arsenal in second.

See you in midweek when Liverpool scrape a draw at Newcastle and Arsenal beat Nottingham Forest to open it all up again and prompt one man to immediately answer his own weird questions.

This means VAR

If you came away from the Etihad with VAR or referees on your mind, you are frankly quite weird and part of the problem.

That message goes to Dave Kidd of The Sun, whose otherwise entirely sensible match report simply cannot resist a bizarre dig:

‘Liverpool thought they had gone three-up when Ryan Graveberch’s visionary pass released Szoboszlai who squared for Jones to tap in – only for VAR to deem the Hungarian offside by a toenail, when he had been level by any previous understanding. ‘Technology punishing a brilliant move and rewarding lazy defending.’

He…was offside. By any understanding, previous or otherwise. Dunno whether it was a toenail that strayed but it certainly wasn’t imperceptible to the naked eye that Szoboszlai was just beyond Abdukodir Khusanov, who had cleverly pulled his shoulder back at the perfect moment in a trademark show of ‘lazy defending’, when the pass was played.

It was an interesting game with all sorts of strands of discussion. But no, down with technology and all that.

Let the records show

One of those strands of discussion was that Mo Salah is quite good at football. Some might get carried away and say he is really good. Great, even.

He also broke some records on Sunday. We know this because the Daily Mirror website is lovely and helpful with headlines like these:

‘Salah sets TWO remarkable Premier League records – which no-one has managed before’

That’s…that’s what breaking a record is. And it’s really strange that you’ve just explained it. Mediawatch would love to know how Salah could possibly have set TWO remarkable Premier League records – which someone has managed before.

Except it turns out that it is a necessary clarification because for years the concept of records and the breaking thereof has entirely lost all meaning in the football media sphere. Look…

‘Liverpool’s Mohamed Salah breaks records in win vs. Man City’ – ESPN, the opening paragraph to which is ‘Liverpool forward Mohamed Salah has become the first player in Europe’s top five leagues to surpass 50 direct goal involvements this season following his goal and assist in Sunday’s 2-0 win over Manchester City.’

That is not a record.

‘Mo Salah equals Lionel Messi and breaks plethora of records as ‘special’ season puts Liverpool on verge of title’ – talkSPORT, who include among that ‘plethora of records’ the fact that Salah matched Messi’s high for scoring and assisting in the most games of a single season in one of Europe’s big five leagues since 2014/15.

That is a) not a record, and b) would not even be a record Salah has broken if it was a record, which it isn’t.

‘Mo Salah breaks SIX records as Liverpool easily dismantle Man City and Reds star could beat Messi’s best ever season’ – The Sun website, who chuck both those in after mining the rest of Opta Joe and Squawka’s Twitter timelines for quick content.

Stats are not records and Guinness probably won’t be heading to Anfield with a ‘joint-most games both scored and assisted in in one of Europe’s top five leagues since 2014/15’ plaque any time soon.

MORE ON LIVERPOOL EMBARRASSING MANCHESTER CITY FROM F365

👉 Liverpool panic is over as quartet put down ‘bang average’ Man City and retire overhyped De Bruyne

👉 Liverpool embarrass Guardiola as incredible Salah wrestles Premier League title from Manchester City

You’ve been warned

Roy Keane comes armed with yet more bad news for Salah and friends, courtesy of the Daily Mirror website:

‘Roy Keane warns Liverpool now at risk of becoming Premier League ‘laughing stock”

That ‘warning’ in full:

“You have to have that bit of tension in the dressing room saying if you slip up now, you’ll be a laughing stock. You are reminding people about being complacent and being on your toes. You’d have good squad members and obviously the manager would do it, the senior players would do it to make sure you don’t slack off in training. You look at some of the fixtures and you’re playing Southampton at home, but you treat Southampton like you’re playing Real Madrid; you treat teams with respect. If they keep carrying on doing what they’re doing. Liverpool don’t have to do anything extraordinary, just do what you’re doing, be efficient. Two goals a game is a big one, it’s a simple message saying if you get them, which you have been doing all season anyway, you are guaranteed to win the league.”

That really is quite stark. Liverpool could absolutely become a Premier League ‘laughing stock’ if they suddenly, randomly and irrevocably stop doing what they’re doing and Arsenal equally without warning get enough of their sh*t together to overhaul an 11-point gap. The ‘risk’ is obvious.

Perhaps the ‘full-scale disaster’ is still imminent after all.

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