'It stopped being fun when Gary Speed died' - The Secret Footballer comes clean after 15 years

Former Premier League striker Dave Kitson has publicly confirmed he was the anonymous Secret Footballer behind the groundbreaking books and columns exposing football's dark side

After 15 years, five published books, a must-read newspaper column and numerous social media threads dedicated to 'outing' him, The Secret Footballer has finally been unmasked.

At the height of his fame, there was even a website 'Who Is the Secret Footballer' that gathered all the clues from the weekly behind-the-scenes reports on professional football to try to identify the person behind 'TSF'.

His articles would lift the lid on the "billion-dollar circus" that is top-tier football, with key themes including agents, dressing room politics and the industry's cynicism.

Whilst many ex-footballers now have their own podcasts and columns, this was pioneering insight at the time.

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Many football fans of a certain age will likely know his identity, but former Reading, Stoke City, Sheffield United and Portsmouth striker Dave Kitson has finally confirmed it publicly and says: "I wasn't happy with where football was going and I needed an outlet to express it for my own mental health.", reports the Mirror.

Kitson, now a prominent motivational speaker, has finally decided to reveal his secret and has provided insights into why his career took the turn it did towards writing best-selling novels and captivating articles, both before and after he hung up his boots.

Whilst some pursue the dream of being a footballer, it was a profession that found Kitson instead.

"I never set out to be a footballer. It was one of those things that just happened," Kitson said. "I wanted to be a travel writer. I wanted to get around the world and have someone pay me to do it. So, I fell into football."

Kitson went on to feature 81 times in the Premier League, netting 15 goals during that period. Across his entire career, the 46 year old turned out 403 times for seven different clubs, finding the net 115 times and registering 30 assists.

Whilst being a footballer might be a dream for many, that doesn't mean it's without its flaws. That's where The Secret Footballer came in for Kitson, serving as an outlet to air his frustrations about the industry's shortcomings.

"I am The Secret Footballer. I've never said that out loud before," Kitson revealed after 15 years of mystery. "It was an idea that came to me when I wasn't happy with where football was going and I needed an outlet to express it for my own mental health.

"I've been writing since I was a kid. It's a passion. As I said, I wanted to be a travel writer. The writing was cathartic. It helped me process what was going on in football."

It served as an initial outlet for Kitson, but over time, the pressure started to mount as more and more was demanded from him.

Kitson added: "It started as something that wasn't about naming names. It was about explaining what happens in the industry and why.

"I would write and leave people to form their own opinions. It was fun for a whilst, then it bred huge anxiety. I had a career and a big contract. If I'd been outed, I would have been sacked and ostracised. Now everyone has a podcast and an outlet. Back then, it was genuinely new.

"It changed football in this country and led to overhauls at the highest levels, which I'm proud of. But the stress and anxiety were immense."

It wasn't just the frustrations surrounding the "circus" in football that Kitson addressed as The Secret Footballer. Mental health was a key issue the former striker attempted to highlight, though there's a sense of regret that he didn't raise his voice sooner.

Kitson has confessed: "The worst thing that happened was when I wrote a column about mental health called Sometimes There's Darkness Behind the Light.

"Nobody talked about mental health in football then. If you spoke about it, you were seen as weak. I said there was a mental health epidemic and I predicted it was only a matter of time before someone took their own life.

"I submitted it on Friday. It went out Saturday. On Sunday, Gary Speed was found dead. That's when the Secret Footballer stopped being fun.

"It gave the column credibility in the worst possible way. I struggled with guilt for a long time that I hadn't written it earlier. I became angry at the authorities for being passive.

"Things have improved since, but that tragedy was horrendous. Not long after, I stopped writing and disappeared."

TSF's written work over the years has captured the attention of football supporters across the country, therefore Kitson's closing statement is one that many may feel shocked by.

"One piece of advice to my younger self: don't write those books," he concluded. "They were fun and helped me mentally, but people always want more of you. Whatever you give is never enough.

"You give pieces of your soul to people. You're either the type who can survive that or you struggle. I know a lot who have struggled and wish they'd never done it. I'm glad I played football. It shaped me. Would I miss it if I hadn't done it? Probably not."

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