Swift Arteta sack 'decision' made amid 'three transfers completed'

Did Arsenal make a ‘sack decision’ on Mikel Arteta within an hour of the final whistle in Paris? It seems unlikely.

Arteta sack bingo bongo

There’s obviously some power in ‘Arteta sack’ headlines the day after Arsenal failed once again on the biggest stage. We’re not immune to the odd gamble with those precious keywords ourselves when traffic is slow.

But at least we’re not pretending that Arsenal have made any kind of ‘decision’; we know Arteta is not really going to be sacked the day after a Champions League semi-final when they are just about holding on to second in the Premier League table.

Unlike SPORTbible, who fart out:

Arsenal chiefs make Mikel Arteta sack decision after Champions League heartbreak vs PSG

The publish time of 22.32 on Wednesday night is key here; clearly Arsenal chiefs have done no such sodding thing less than an hour after the final whistle.

‘A decision has reportedly been made on Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal future following their crushing Champions League defeat to Paris Saint-Germain,’ reads the opening line. It’s such obvious bollocks but Mediawatch was not quite prepared for the obviousness of those bollocks. We can see the shape without bending down.

Despite Arteta’s lack of silverware in recent years, his future is not in doubt – well, for now. That’s according to The Daily Mail, who claim Arteta is not ‘in any sort of sack race’ at Arsenal.

Helpfully, they have provided a link to said article in the Mail:

‘Why Mikel Arteta is lucky he’s not in a sack race, the Man United star silencing his doubters and the big winners this weekend – PREMIER LEAGUE THINGS WE LEARNED’

The clue is in the headline: It’s not news; it’s not a ‘decision’; it’s a three-day old column in which the writer says ‘nobody is putting Mikel Arteta in any sort of sack race’. Because they’re not.

Three days later, the thirst for clicks is such that a column written about the Premier League weekend is spun into Arsenal chiefs making a ‘decision’ within an hour of the final whistle in Paris. FFS.

But even worse might be Football Insider, who bring us this:

‘Mikel Arteta to blame Martin Odegaard for Arsenal sack after PSG defeat’

The single quote marks might reasonably lead you to think that somebody has said/written that. Oh no. This is just a conflagration of some woolly Arteta sack chat and the fact that Odegaard was once again poor in Paris.

The Spaniard has every right to look to his captain after another invisible performance, this time seeing them crash out of the most prestigious club competition in world football.

He does have ‘every right to look to his captain’, but it’s a massive sodding leap to get to him ‘blaming’ him for the nonexistent sack.

The B Word

”Upset’ Mikel Arteta insists there ‘hasn’t been a better team’ than Arsenal in the Champions League in blunt interview’ – The Sun.

It’s not a ‘blunt’ interview, guys; it’s a batshit interview.

Arsenal transfers though right

But there’s good news for Arsenal in amongst the despair because football.london are here to tell us:

Arsenal can finally complete Mikel Arteta dream midfield after three transfers completed

It’s tricky, isn’t it? You try and write an opinion piece about why Arsenal should perhaps sign Joao Palhinha from Bayern Munich to replace Jorginho and Thomas Partey when you absolutely know that Arsenal should not and will not sign Joao Palhinha, and you accidentally write the headline as if three Arsenal transfers have been completed. So careless.

De Business

But never mind Arsenal losing a Champions League semi-final, the Mirror always land back on Liverpool so this is the biggest story in football on Thursday morning:

Kevin De Bruyne transfer bombshell as Liverpool ‘make offer’ for Man City star

Shame then that they did not think to check their sister website the Liverpool Echo for the news that ‘Liverpool have not made an offer to sign departing Manchester City attacking midfielder Kevin De Bruyne this summer’. That could have been cleared up very quickly.

Mind you, that inside knowledge has not stopped the Echo from milking this sh*t:

Inside Kevin De Bruyne and Virgil van Dijk friendship as Liverpool transfer stance clear Jurgen Klopp has already given green light for Liverpool to make shock Kevin De Bruyne transfer Kevin De Bruyne transfer stance emerges amid Liverpool ‘offer’ ahead of Man City exit

To save you all the clicks: De Bruyne and Van Dijk both like Ibiza, Klopp rates one of the best footballers in the world De Bruyne and De Bruyne is leaving Manchester City.

But probably not for Liverpool. Their ‘stance’ is clear.

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